Diversion

Taking bloods, inserting a catheter, retracting... the life of the medical student in surgery - the surgical student. Rounds at 0700, I'm struggling to wake up and my bowels don't have any time to work; I just shove breakfast down my throat and wash it down with some coffee. Sometimes I'm leaving the house after triple-checking my keys are in my fist before I slam my front door shut. Half way up the road to the Hospital, I realise I forgot to wear a tie and it's the day when everyone else wears a tie. Or even worse, when there are Professorial rounds.

Yesterday night I drove my car into the garage, closed the garage door and locked it shut with the padlock I brought in from home. This was all before I realised that the shopping I had in the trunk were still in there. Oh yeah. So I unlocked the garage door and got my groceries out, then repeat [as needed]. As I was walking back to the apartment, I realised that one of the other tenants left their cabin light on, meaning that their battery will be dead by morning - a tragedy I've endured before. So I went back upstairs to get some paper and leave my details because I have jumper leads in my trunk. Not sure what happened and didn't hear from them, so it must be alright.

Cooking steak is so simple, yet so satisfying for me. I really enjoyed sitting on the uncomfortable communal couch, folded over the coffee table and tucking into my steak and steamed vegetables. Awesome. In fact, I was having such a nice time, that I decided to treat myself to some port. A few short glasses of that after dinner on top of a delicious steak made me feel happy. I went to my room to study but ended up watching a movie - wonderful.

It was about 2300hrs when I had the music singing at max volume into my head via the big Sony headphones I purchased for 75% off some years ago. Fantastic headphones and great with movies. Suddenly, a massive thud at my door. I jolted out of my chair, feeling slightly tipsy and opened my room door - it was my room mate.

Dude are these your keys?


I went blank, looked around in my room and realised that my keys were missing.

I guess so man. Thanks. Where'd you find them?


His eyes widened and he had that 'ridicule' smirk on his face. They were on the front door.

Oh.. as in my front door in the apartment?


No. They were on the front door of the apartment, not of your room.


Shit.


For about a minute I wondered how I pulled that off and then I realised it was the same way I forgot to wear a tie and left the newly purchased groceries in my trunk after locking the garage door: I'm so pre-occupied.

The obvious question is: what are you thinking about?

My answer is: I don't know.

I get so distracted. My mind's usually everywhere. I find it so difficult to concentrate, sometimes even in everyday conversation. So I reassure myself with the notion that I don't deviate from rock-solid decisions I have made in the past. Until I realise that I have done that before.

What a wonderful way to describe it!

When I was in year 12, I was obsessed with Mathematics - I absolutely loved it. This was mainly because I was very uncomfortable with the amount of alcohol my father used to drink and the amount of arguments that would revolve around his drinking habits. I hated those days and coming home to that every day really upset me at times. Most other times, it was nice and a welcoming place. It still is a welcoming place and I'm happy to declare that things have gotten a lot better. Mathematics provided the distraction from the tension - it relieved it. I could focus on the variables, Greek symbols and get lost in the algebra. It sounds incredibly nerdy, but I'm not afraid to admit it.

So then what kind of a job would a Mathematician have? One could do little with the skill of numerical and variable manipulation without application. I hated Business/Commerce/Economics because I felt that it was essentially the art and science of legally stripping one person, or more, of their money to maximise one's own gains. I still feel this way. So there was no way I was using my techniques exploiting others.

After that came the topic of Engineering. Was I good enough? I wondered how difficult Engineering would be and concluded that it was beyond my abilities. I was even offered a scholarship to do Ceramic Engineering followed by a Masters in Biomedical Engineering. I'm still curious how life would have turned out if I took that path. My skills in Math weren't that great anyway. As much as I enjoyed it, it was a hobby and it would be best to leave it that way. I still enjoy it's logic.

Mathematics is the Language of Nature. 
Every Element in the Universe can be represented by Numbers. 


So now here I am, scraping through day-to-day living in the dawn of my career as a medical practitioner. Medicine started out with me wanting to do Radiology. Why not? You have the greatest exposure to macroscopic anatomy and its spatial relationships in addition to doing Interventional work. After the first year of medical school, I decided that Radiology was definitely not for me.

It was a Surgeon who changed my attitude.

What do you want to do?


Interventional Radiology. 


Really? Well I've got a question for you. I am a Vascular Surgeon. What's the difference between me and an Interventional Radiologist?


Blank.

When I fuck up, I know how to fix it. 


Blank + + +

That shook the idea off my shoulders. Now it's General Surgery... for a variety of reasons.

I look at the first year medical students of today and wonder away:

Wow... I was there two whole years ago. So many things seem natural and yet, we are intimidated by so many other things. 


We've all got a long way to go. In the meantime, I just hope I don't forget my brain along the way.