Wrapping Up

It has been an interesting couple of months in surgery for me. Most of it, I must admit, has been frustrating because the teaching hasn't been brilliant despite the wonderful tutorials. I'm not concerned about the tutorials - they were awesome. It's more the lack of intra-operative teaching that wears me thin. Knowing the theory behind the surgical processes is important of course, but I am a hands-on learner.

Problems did develop over time. My hospital has been very accommodating and by that I mean the surgical staff were happy to have multiple students per team. This was very frustrating because one kept looking over another's shoulder to observe the operations being done and there was always this fierce competition of who scrubbed in and who didn't. That really sucked.

What really upset me was my own attitude toward my colleagues. I really wanted to be by myself with no other medical students around. Although I got away with it during the first two years of medical school, it now becomes apparent that I just want to be with a team and not have colleagues sticking their noses into my education. I do want other students to learn from teams; it's just that one-to-one teaching in surgery is a very rare privilege and I did experience it from time to time and that teaching was worth more than all the tutorials we've had.

I started becoming rude to colleagues where I didn't need to be. They annoyed me because they kept showing up to our list and thought it would be just fine if they went from one theatre to another until they saw something that interested them... at the patient's expense of course. They didn't help with the patient after the operation, they didn't assist. No no, I just watch you work and absorb. What the hell is that?

Yesterday I was particularly rude with the girl that I was teamed up with because she really did ask stupid questions and I was embarrassed by some of the shit that came out of her mouth. Yes, she's not stupid, but she is really successful at portraying that she is. So I apologised to her in the evening by messaging and told her that should not have behaved rudely. The response I received was thanks for the text. Not sure what that's supposed to mean.

So I've experienced surgery at a very 'tip of the iceberg' level, like most other parts of the course. We're supposed to be part of the family when we're on the surgical teams, but one cannot help feeling like an outsider.

Essentially, most of the registrars were fantastic and some of the residents were brilliant. The exposure to different personalities was interesting and really showed me how people can behave inappropriately to other staff and what unprofessional conduct really means.

One really knows the importance of behaviour in this profession - toward patients and toward colleagues. We must always be accommodating and supportive, regardless of the politics.

Being competitive is always a problem in any workplace. However, destroying other people in the process is definitely not a means to success. Well, at least not for me. Everyone needs to be successful; if we prevent the development of our colleagues, we are literally putting them in the firing line and it's the patients under their care that get shot in the process, well before our colleagues do.