Pop

Do you ever get the feeling that you wake up encased in a bubble of happiness reinforced with steel? Getting out of bed with a lovely smile, admiring the clear blue skies outside your window and wondering nothing can make me feel bad today.

Well, I was blessed to have a few consecutive days of happiness in that fashion where I was catching up on sleep and able to not feel constantly frustrated with other people and also have the patience to smile while stuck in a traffic jam, though there were exceptions.

This weekend, it felt like almost all the potential forces around me did what they could to bust what I had. My girlfriend has been having familial issues and has been rightfully stressed about her academic commitments for a few weeks. So I do what I can do to reassure her and help her feel confident about her decision. Reminding her that she is capable of doing anything she likes feels like mission impossible occasionally. This weekend was one of those occasions. At the same time, my parents decide to have an argument on what happened overseas over two years ago and our relatives there keep calling back pleading for help, despite the fact that they stole whatever savings my parents had left.

On top of all this, I decide to leave my girlfriend alone to work and study - to be productive and I met up with one of my closest friends for lunch. We do enjoy subjecting each other to teasing and the like, but yesterday he truly went too far. He interrupted me and gosh am I happy he did, when I was just about to tell him get the fuck out of my car.

Then, my ex-student from 3-4 years ago gives me a call telling me she's too busy to meet at my recommended time so I can advise her brother about medical admissions. So that slot in my schedule allocated to whom I thought was appreciative, now is filled with annoyance.

Further, I get no study done this weekend, which is driving me insane and I forgot the data-entry material at work when I left yesterday.

After messaging my girlfriend, expressing my concerns and worries toward her mental health as well as her emotional wellbeing, she stops responding to me. So when I call her at midnight before I sleep and tell her you've been out of touch, the response I get in return was: I'm sorry I'm just too busy.

The world can seriously be fucking cruel sometimes. That it punishes people that try to stay optimistic and brings them down to their depressed state.

It really breaks my heart.